Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
