i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
