i was born a porn star she said
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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