Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We need to get me chipped asap
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
