AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
