All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
