Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love having hate sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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