I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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