to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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