so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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