Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i think my cat just said my name.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
