I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
