I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
