Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize