i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
