i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
