you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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