we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
