So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
