i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
