Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
