totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
