The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
