I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
