She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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