I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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