You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize