he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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