If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
