Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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