I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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