We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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