Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We are two peas in an std pod
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
