I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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