Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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