and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
