dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
