yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
