trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
