that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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