before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
