Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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