i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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