Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
