Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
