You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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