did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
