bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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