If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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