Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize