Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
