Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
