you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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