exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
