physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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