Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
