Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
