There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Randomize
