Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
