this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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