I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize