Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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